Religimon'

Lets have a formal introduction shall we?

We shall.

I am Devon Kay.

I am a confused, now unemployed, 21 year old. . . now that you've got to know me, lets laugh a little bit.

"Religimon' "

    One of my favorite websites on the internet, Cracked.com, posted an article today about the dangers of porn addiction.  Check out the article here.

    The article is quite good, far better than anything I could write, yet I felt something was overlooked.  Chick Tracts.

     Unfortunately this is not a Bear Grylls style show in which a man with very little food, water, or entertainment ability tracks women on a perilless journey for ratings. . . no. . . that was just a stupid play on words.

"Yes. . . "

Chick Tracts are renowned as being written by one of the most published comic book authors in the world, selling over 750 million copies of his inspirational and often offensive comics.  Did I say offensive, I meant ignorant. . . and poop filled.

    Ok, Ok, I promised myself I wouldn't become the very thing I hate, which is someone spouting their opinion like it matters.  Religion has. . . done. . . a lot. . . of good, the ellipses where me grudgingly accepting the notion that although I hate admitting it, its true.  It has given people something to believe in during dark times, helped countless people quit bad habits (there's something in there I could gripe about but twelve steps are twelve steps), among many other positive things.

    So you must be asking yourself, "Why are you so bothered by someone who's name resembles a fifties slang not much different then the Fonz would use?"

"Aiiiiiids!"

  Basically this stuff has been handed to me on every street corner, by every homeless man, in every major metropolitan city.  For those of you interested, I am not religious and have my reasons.  I don't discriminate against you for your beliefs so I ask you respect mine.  We have a right to believe in what we want, when we want, so have a ball.

BUT AGAIN! why does this man bother me OH SO much?. . . . check this shit out.

    All I gathered from this strange animated judgement machine was that John is a gullible dick, who if had stayed alive much longer would probably be responsible for sending Vince Offer from Shamwow! and Billy May's hideous kids to ivy league schools. . .  for those who found that joke contrived he is gullible enough to buy late night infomercial products. . . its my first real article leave me alone.

So I learned a few things from this little pamphlet. . .

- Never travel to a jungle with what appears to be razor leaves everywhere.

- John apparently becomes more Asian as time progresses.

- God hates you if your stupid. . . although if Janitor sleaze over there came to my bedside and planted vague imagery of dickery on my doctors behalf. I suppose I would deserve to go to hell due to the fact I am taking medical advice from someone who apparently has every tattoo available  from your grocers local removable tattoo machine. (You know they are permeant. . .he is hard like that.)

So after John presumably melts in his hospital bed from strange yet sort of retarded razor leafitus God has to come on in a ruin a fantastically Shakespearean story. . .dick.

Blah blah blah, everyone sins, John was a total dick, dude's kid is still dead, sleazy janitor makes off and lives a pretty awesome life for sure. . . see I learned nothing here.

This wouldn't upset as much as it does because this is the highest selling comic in the world.

Thats like basically saying fuck you to spiderman, and then Boinking Aunt Mae. . .its gross!

"Think about boinking me!"

So I sit here in bewilderment thinking of a freshly boinked Aunt Mae, and I wonder to myself, does a love for something truly hinder ones actual judgement of it, and when will this Aunt Mae induced erection subside?

I, like most people, have been in love before, so I understand the idea that if you love something, and it sucks, your probably gonna love it anyway. I.E. the last ten Reel Big Fish albums. . .come on guys. . another cover album?

Is this why Switchfoot is famous? People love god so much, something, ANYTHING, affiliates itself with him/her that they must latch on or they feel inadequate or behind. Does this shed light onto the hipster movement? *

I also find it absurd, that on the website there are testimonials basically
thanking Chick for opening their eyes to the way of god. . . If this is how my eyes where opened to anything I feel like I would need that crazy lasik them future kids are talking about.  

Food for your brain, does one think that if we were introduced to god in a less misconstrued and childish fashion, perhaps we wouldn't have people running their mouths about it trying to make other people feel bad. . . . . I currently will not follow through with this thought because, I myself am not knowledgeable in a higher powers ways. I was more concerned about the mask of love. . .

I suppose for that topic I want feedback from you. . . does love relinquish taste?

I personally say yes, but I am sure someone will disagree.

Its unfortunate, I have to leave you know. . .

I will be writing almost daily to keep myself sane in the next few jobless months.

- DKay

*Nothing will shed light on the hipster movement.